How to comfort a grieving employee
The death of a close relative or news of a terminal illness in the immediate family can be the source of considerable emotional strain for an employee, whose work habits and performance are usually affected. It is also a difficult time for an employee's manager and co-workers. But a manager can provide support and help the employee through this difficult period by considering the following points...
1. Discuss any crisis in private.
It is important that the employee feel at ease and able to talk openly and frankly with you, so choose a comfortable and non-threatening setting for any conversation.
2. Be empathetic.
The effects of a personal loss can be traumatic. An employee can exhibit a range of emotions - shock, disbelief, numbness, disorientation, denial, helplessness, guilt, anxiety, fear, anger, or a sense of futility. In all discussions, you must be aware of such possibilities. Listen attentively, repeat and reflect the emotions revealed to you, and ensure that the employee feels free to ventilate any built-up emotions in your presence. Empathy fosters openness and trust. Help the person identify and express feelings. Reassure him or her that those feelings are natural and will ease with time; and help the employee remember how he or she coped before the loss, trauma, or onset of the terminal disease.
3. Demonstrate your support.
With your staff member, discuss strategies for providing support at this critical time. For example:
- explain how you might be able to bend the rules for the employee during these difficult days.
- list ways of accommodating any problems during this time. 'Forget about your project while you're away. We'll take care of it.' or 'Would you like me to call anyone for you?' or 'We'll ease your work load for the next few weeks by sharing it around the office.' Such expressions may be all that the employee needs to hear from you.
- with any particular difficulties, a problem-solving approach is a useful counselling technique; your organisational and decision-making skills will prove useful here.
- obtain the views of the employee. Ask him or her what levels of performance you can expect at work during this period. Find time to discuss special needs.
