How to help your staff with their personal problems
Staff members with a personal dilemma usually work at their problem and it goes away. But sometimes the problem is not easy to cope with. As an effective and sympathetic manager, you will frequently be approached by people with problems that might be affecting their work, or home life, or both - and they will ask you for help or advice. Here are some useful suggestions to assist you to improve your counselling skills...
1. Set aside time for the counselling session.
Once the need for a counselling session has been identified, you have to create the right conditions - private, unhurried, and free from interruption. Put the employee at ease by offering coffee and assurances of confidentiality. Make the setting relaxed by getting out from behind your desk; sit next to the employee. Take time to establish rapport early: the success of the session will depend on it.
2. Encourage your colleague to talk.
Use the early stages of the session to let your colleague talk. Often all anyone needs is someone who will take the time to listen. Here are some techniques to encourage your colleague to unwind:
- Listen actively. Show that, at the moment, your colleague is the only person who matters. Maintain eye-to-eye contact. Demonstrate that you’re listening by making ‘listening’ noises (‘yes’ and ‘uh huh’), and by rephrasing and summarising.
- Be reassuring. Be supportive. Show that you are not being critical or disapproving… ‘Yes, I can see how that would get you down…’
- Ask questions. Relevant, open-ended questions will make it easier for your colleague to open up, to disclose feelings, and to begin exploring and clarifying the problem… When did you first become aware of the problem? How does the problem affect you? When do you tend to get angriest? Why do you think the problem has arisen? Who else is involved?… Such questions should emerge gradually as natural stepping stones during the session.
At this stage your behaviour is the key to a successful session. Encourage your colleague to talk freely; be empathetic, non-judgemental, and supportive.
3. Observe.
Your colleague’s oral communication will provide you with other useful insights into the person and the problem. His or her speech will be full of hidden meanings. Take particular note of tone, expression, mannerisms, and body language.
